Have you ever made a decision about something, felt relief that you had finally decided and then in almost the next instant been unsure about what you had just decided? It’s exhausting – going back and forth and feeling as if you’re almost at the mercy of that little mind trying its best to figure things out.
Decision-making can be powerful and useful. Sometimes we want to use all our analytical skills to think something through – to find the best method or process or choice for something. And sometimes, all the decision making skills in the world don’t seem to help us. It’s as if we need a different tool – something deeper, something stronger than simply a pro/con list.
I know this to be true in my own life and in observing my clients. Clients come to me wondering how/if to move forward in a relationship, or with a move, or with a career transition. I see them struggle with the hard choices – feeling as if whatever they do, they’ll lose out on something.
When we bring in the Knowing tool, we can feel more confident about the choices we make. Knowing is about connecting with something deeper and more inclusive than our mind. It’s a connection to the inner wisdom – some might call it intuition, a gut feeling. Combine all that together and there you have it – your Knowing, which is a sense, a feeling of knowing exactly what you want to do. Sometimes it doesn’t make sense or might seem a little surprising, but deep down you know it to be the right next step.
We all have the Knowing muscle but for many of us, it needs to be developed. Our society relies on that brain of ours to figure things out and doesn’t put a lot of emphasis on listening to our guts or our hearts (check out the Institute of Heart Math for more on this). I remember a client a while back who worked with horses. We talked about the communication channel that existed between her and the horses. She felt this and knew the power of it. And it was a channel like this that was missing within herself. She had a hard time making decisions and she let the opinions of others often over-ride her own. She also had a lot of thoughts that didn’t serve her – that were simply creating more confusion instead of leading her where she wanted to go. As we worked together, that inner communication channel – the Knowing muscle – became stronger and stronger and she was able to listen more to herself and to those thoughts that she KNEW were her own and not some other ‘voices’ coming from fear or insecurity.
When you listen to your Knowing, you might need to be in the unknown for a while. Our brains like to figure things out with lists and facts. Our Knowing likes to evolve over time and needs space. Sometimes, we might feel it immediately, but most often, there is a sense of not knowing that is present at first. It feels disconcerting and maybe a bit confusing because we want to know that next step. But if you can allow some space here, just keep tuning in and asking “How does this feel? How would it feel if I did this? How would I feel if I did this other thing?” Knowing brings with it a sense of exploration and curiosity instead of How quick can I get this figured out?
Your invitation this week is to play with, experiment and explore your Knowing. Where and when do you feel it and when does it feel elusive? What can you do to give it a bit more space to find you more regularly?
Knowing takes time: you have to be willing to be in the unknown for a while.