The theme and Mood Lady for this month is Gentleness – how are you using Gentleness with yourself in your life at the moment?
I will never forget the first time someone provided me with an invitation for Gentleness with myself.
It happened in one of my first sessions working with my own coach many years ago. She listened to me and my thoughts about something I was going through and heard the self-criticism coming through, as it often did then.
She offered these four beautiful words:
“Be gentle with yourself.”
I can remember the impact of her words on me – even viscerally. It was like all of a sudden someone had given me an option, an opening.
There was some other way to think about what I had done or said (or not done or said) and some other way to approach it within myself.
For me, this was huge. I was a person who had (and still have) very high standards. This means I do quality work and I do it with integrity.
And when I let these high standards get out of control, there’s little room for mistakes or things that aren’t quite ‘good enough’. There’s also little room for the Joy of doing what I love to do and the playful spirit that I want to do it with.
That’s why Gentleness is so handy. It reminds me to soften. It doesn’t mean I won’t do my best or still have those high standards. But it does mean there’s more room for the enjoyment, lightness and playful spirit that is also a part of who I am.
Gentleness opens up the door for more of me to show up and play. If you are in need of a little more Gentleness in your low life, let’s start with our Gentleness Mood Lady:
- What areas in your life do you need to be most gentle with yourself? Is there a particular part of yourself that is craving YOUR gentleness?
And if you’re ready for something bigger, perhaps a change and/or a transformation, let’s use the beautiful Enneagram personal development tool .
This month we’ll look at the Enneagram 2 – the Helper/Giver. If you are a 2, ask yourself this: How might I nurture the Gentleness I often share when someone is in need with myself? If I’m feeling extra tired, what Gentle approach could I use on myself and what might that allow for?
If you aren’t a 2, how could you use the 2 type to support you in being Gentle right now? That is, how could you be more loving and/or compassionate in your life right now?
Or to simplify, the 2 is all about love and relationships. So how can Gentleness in yourself support you in sharing more love and compassion with those around you this month?
Since that coaching session years ago, I’ve come a long way. And I’ll let you in on a little secret…Sometimes, I’ve even been know to call myself ‘honey’, like “oh honey, it’s ok.”
This is a far cry from the yelling and criticizing that used to go on in my mind.
So these days, when a ‘honey’ creeps out involuntarily (sometimes even out loud as I often talk with myself), I always smile.
I’m then able to access that part of me that tends to get hidden by taking things too seriously or by trying a bit too hard.
Gentleness allows me to access the compassion and beautiful heart I share with others in need (yes, I’m an Enneagram 2). It allows the lines to be drawn within to be extended so that I’m fully able to be me.
So this month, I invite you to explore Gentleness and I’ll leave you with one last question:
- How will you bring in more Gentleness toward You this month?
If you want to share, go to my FB page. I’m monitoring it and would love to hear your thoughts.